I Think I Just Got Punk'd

I don't talk about my work a lot, with good reason.

I am the assistant manager of a call center.

I have done what I do now for 21 years. 

That's 21 years for being yelled at, cussed out, and demeaned...in English and several foreign languages. 21 years of being treated like I'm stupid because I have a Southern accent. 21 years of being hit-on, because I have a Southern accent. There is not much to be said that I have not heard, to one extent or another, over 21 years. That includes conversations during the first 6 months of a new 1-900 number that is alarmingly close to my work number.

Well, I can go on to Glory now, because I have heard it ALL!

I am helping answer the phones today because we have several people on vacation. I like answering calls because, for the most part, they are the same. You listen, record the information, share the confirmation number and move on to the next one. There are no life or death decisions, like trying to make 450 cases of coffee ordered at 4:54 pm yesterday appear out of thin air for a delivery picking up the Tuesday after a holiday. Listen, be pleasant, record info, enter.  Simple

 This call comes in about 11:45 a.m from a lady who asks where she is calling. That happens a lot. All of our publicly listed telephone lines  from all over the country, ring here at headquarters in Birmingham. We do have some regional offices that have an admin that answers, but they are forwarded here for their lunch hour. The variety of Southern accents that answer here usually cues the caller in to the fact that we ain't local.

I explain that I am in the headquarters office and asked how could I help her.

I knew I was in trouble when she said that I could pray for her.

I know that I've shared here that I am a true, washed in the Blood, Southern Baptist. So when someone asks me to pray for them, I do just that, without question. And boy, will I be praying for this lady.

She said that she found our number in the phone book and thought it was odd that I wasn't nearby. Very soon I was glad that I wasn't nearby.

ShespoketomeinastreamofwordsthatIamevenhavingtroubletryingtotypebecauseIcannottypethatwayThere
wasnopausesorbeginingsorendingsjustaneverendingstreamthatleadmetobelieve thatshehadreachedher
coffeequotaforthedayandwasworkingon severalotherpeoplesquotaaswell.

The next 10 minutes, the only time she paused from her spiel was to ask me a question and await my answer. She asked about the history of Labor Day, which threw me,but I later realized that the history of Labor Day is currently on our hold music recording. She asked about the company. I gave her my best "published company history" answers. 

She told me that she was  " insert popular female super hero here" and that she was currently working to push a budget proposal through Washington, even though all of our money was Chinese. She said that she was going to save the country with coffee and that she needed our help. She told me that her father was "insert long deceased undesputed genius here" and that she was his greates accomplishment. She told me that she was very excited because coffee would save the country, unless she was in England, and then it'd be tea. Because she was a princess, like Diana, who had died 15 years ago today.

As I sat listening, I thought, our Tampa admin would have gotten a kick out of this call. I doubt she would have put up with it very long, but I was too stunned to hang up.

THEN...she prayed for our company, and Chinese money, and coffee. A true Southern Baptist doesn't interupt a prayer and when she reached "...and all God's people said..." I replied with a hearty Amen.

I swear, I better see Ashton Kutcher soon...

~En-JOY