One Step Closer

The past few weeks have been pretty average, with the possible exception of the large tire tracks through my front yard.

I discovered them a couple of weekends back. My mother had  called to tell me that it was sleeting in nearby TrussVegas. I opened the front door to see if it was sleeting here at home and there they were. I know they could not have been there the day before.  They could not have been more clear had they been outlined in red.  Disturbingly, they went around my house and stopped next to my patio.
Even more disturbingly, they also ran smack over my septic tank. The easy-access lid, slightly off kilter.

Nothing was missing, except my push mower.

After filing a police report. I set about making plans for a new fence.  I priced fencing at a few places and called The Chief to ask if he thought we could tackle that sort of project.

Ever the researcher, it was not long before he had weighed the pros and cons  and all of the ups and downs of doing it ourselves and having the pro's do it. By sundown, I was on the schedule to get a new, professionally installed fence.

Now initially I just wanted this side to close the gap caused by the tornado a few years back. Actually, the trees also damaged the drive through  gate on the other side as well. The top bar was damaged and it no longer closed properly.

 We never had enough money to both fix the rood and replace the fence. As a matter of fact, we didn't have enough to adequately replace the roof. I am stuck with half a Raggedy Ann patch work roof job. Finally I am in a position to close the gap and stop thieving interlopers from driving their cars around my house.

 I wanted to move it back to the back side of the house so that all the utilities were accessible without going through the fence.

The stick, marks my septic tank, just in case any one else tries to run over my septic tank.

Not only did I finally get the gap closed up, the parentals surprised me with a brand new gate!

 

 

A chain and lock makes it all complete.

 

They are small steps and may not mean much to some, but for me, they are important steps.

 

And each step brings me closer

 



A Year Ago Today

SNOWMAGEDDON 2014!!

I learned a lot of about myself during Snowmageddon 2014.
Primarily that I don't need a man to drive me around in the snow. From all reports, I did better than my previous "snow-ffer" who ran the truck into a ditch.

Well, I have always been the better driver.

EnJOY this sunny, warm day

Food, Glorious Food.....

Wow!! Who doesn't love food festivals!

I am looking forward to hitting more than a few of these!!!


~EnJOY

Rest In Peace Jo

My grandmother died yesterday.  She was gone as I was writing Tigger's birthday post.

She was 90 years old.

Everyone keeps asking if I am okay. Yes, I am a fine.  Really, I am not sad. She is right where she wanted to be. Back with my Grandaddy.  And a host of friends. I can just imagine the reunion going on right now in Heaven. And that makes me smile.

I was on a lunch date when I got the call. I didn't know how to react. And I didn't tell my date until lunch was over.

My relationship with my grandmother has always been strained.  I was the only girl, until Julz was born. I was the oldest.  If she was ever proud of me, she never told me. She always found some way to critize me, or cut me down, or make fun of me. 

But I know where a lot of my own personality was shaped. I always say I know where my "Drama Queen Gene" comes from.  She was the one who taught me that anything that still had use left in it was not trash. 

She could cook and bake and make candy. I wish I had learned how to make her divinity.
Julz did, buying her a new mixer for the task.

She could sew and embroider, making me all kinds of clothing from play clothes to prom gowns.
I have a shelf full of Raggedy Ann's. She could also knit and crochet. I never had the patience to learn.

I'm sure it will hit me later.

Happy 21st Birthday Tigger

Happy Birthday Tigger

Today, you are 21. You are as old as I was when I had Julz. You are old enough to be out on your own. You are old enough to drink, though I know that you don't care for that.  You are a man, and I am very proud of you.

 I pray for you daily. I pray that you are being loved and encouraged. I pray that your talents are appreciated. I pray that you are safe, healthy and happy.

I miss you more than words can express.
Love
Mom

Happy Anniversary To Me!!

Today is my one year anniversary.

A year ago my life changed forever, The family that I had grown to love and support was suddenly ripped from my life, without warning, without any consultation or consideration. All because my husband wasn't satisfied being faithful.  He broke his very first promise to me, and he had lied to me for our entire relationship.

In this year I have learned quite a bit about the man I had married and the person that he became. The ways that he betrayed my trust,betrayed my love.  The lies he developed and cultivated to help cover his tracks. Lies he told his friends, our family, out children.  The women, some of them my "friends" who he duped into sleeping with him with his stories about me. The fights he picked, the arguments that he started so that I would not mind when he left. The stories he told to gain sympathy, meanwhile draining my bank account.  The drinking and the gambling.  The methods he would use to alienate our friends until they were out of our lives.  The lies he would tell so I wouldn't want to speak to them again. The lies he told the children so they would want to turn against me, the only mother they ever really knew. The things he did when he was cheating on my, like deleting his Facebook, suddenly starting the gym, being called away on "projects," watching football games with guys he had not spoken to in months. I learned that very little of what he told me over the years was actually the truth.

I learned a lot about myself. I came out the other side stronger and smarter.  I learned that  I only need to buy food that I like to eat and for that I am much thinner and healthier. I learned that there is a difference between being lonely and being alone. I learned that I like being alone. I learned that I have some very good friends who care about me. I learned that the children still love me because I cared enough to raise them properly.  I learned to have fun again. And probably most important, I learned that I make enough money to make it on my own.

I learned that I can do things for myself: I learned to cook. I learned to cut my own grass  I learned that I can travel by myself and be okay. I learned to do without television, channeling my energies into more productive pursuits.  I learned to do things by myself, like eating out,  or going to the movies. I learned that I do not have to settle for anything.  I learned to see the charlatans early on. I learned that their slick talk and sweet words were just a ploy to reign me in, just as D/H had done all those years ago. I see them coming now and learn to decipher their lies quickly.  I ask questions. They appreciate me, or I see that they walk.  I won't be a sucker again.

I relished the things that I thought I had lost, like friends that have bailed over the years because they couldn't handle D/H's bullshit.  I have lost things that once I had relished, like my beloved Zipper.

Most of all, I found the Lord again. I found a faith-family that welcomed me in and I am learning God's Word again.  I am back on the path to learning what He has in store for me.

Happy Anniversary Baby
Oh yeah, that's me.

In The Spirit of Christmas

Last night I had to go to the funeral home to say goodbye to a man I had grown up with. Actually, I had grown up with his younger brother and younger sister. He had been one of those unattainable schoolgirl crushes. For the sake of the story, I will call him "John."

His younger sister had died young, after a raging infection set up in her diabetic body.  And now his mother was burying another child.

I may have made mention of the neighborhood that I grew up in. The close knit group of friends who's ages spanned nearly 10 full years.  The family that shared our circle had three children, a girl my age, whom I will call "Pam", a younger sister, and a brother who was 2 years older than me.  He was a popular jock, and other popular jocks often congregated at their home. He had are large iron weight set with a base worthy of any gym around. Afternoons were often spent hanging out on the perifery of this group of young men, trying not to get in the way but still being close enough to be notice.  John was one of those boys.

I had been 12 when I moved into this neighborhood and I don't really remember much happening until the summer I turned 13. Every day our culdesac was filled with cars, boys all new to driving, and the collection of cars were as diverse as they were.  Pam and I were the envy of our friends, a giggly group of pre-teens who would have given their eye-teeth to hang out in the driveway and observe.

As I crossed the threshold of the funeral home, I was suddenly 13 again. The boys are long since grown, with families of their own. All welcomed me with open arms, like a band of big brothers welcoming a little sister back into the fold. The first to greet me was an old band mate, a drummer. The last time he had seen me, I was well over 60 pounds overweight, and he complimented my weight loss. He told me he had heard what Darling Hubby had done, but that I was "better off" and obviously thriving. In my high heeled boots,  I towered over the two Italian boys I had such crushes, on back in the day. The oldest commented not remembering me being so tall.  The younger was every bit as handsome as I remembered, with his thick black hair and chocolate eyes. An unexpected hug from one I did not immediatly recognize caught me off guard, but I soon realized that he was the son of one of my mother's friends. His wife is obviously a very good cook. The boy from my neighborhood, who had told me that one day I  would break the hearts of men, greated me with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Then his wife, who had never met me, did just the same.

They all congregated at the space between the door and the casket and swapped stories about John.  And they all had one. Funny ones, som that had to be shared in whispered tones, so as not to offend. His mischevious side, his wild streak, his compassionate nature.

I wonder if John ever knew what he meant to his friends.

So with that in mind, I challenge you, dear reader, in the true spirit of CHRISTmas to set aside your differences with those who have slighted you, bury the hatchet with those who have wronged you.  Tell those whom are special to you, that you love them, and then love without limits. Forget the hurt, anger, bitterness, resentment. Forgive the shortcomings. Be willing to meet that old enemy halfway. Be the bigger person. Make the first move.  CHOSE to live the rest of your days in peace, positivity and happiness.

Life is too short.
Go out with no regrets.