Monday, May 22, 2017
Broken Promises
Funny how a something can suddenly stir up a memory.
Like this song, for example.
"I Swear" ~ John Michael Montgomery 1993
Kickin' It Up ~ Atlantic Records
It reminds me of happy times. It is also a reminder of how all the promises mentioned here were broken in an instant.
This musical interlude is brought to you by karaoke, slow dances, and staring lovingly into someone's eyes.
Sunday, May 14, 2017
-----;-----<@
A very Happy Mother's Day to this young lady! Thank you so much for always being my hero, the one-woman team in my corner, the voice in my head that reminds me that, despite what others around me may say, I am valued beyond rubies. I am sorry this journey so far has been kinda rocky, but you can't say it hasn't been .....educational!
I love you Mom!
Tuesday, May 9, 2017
Oops! You Stepped In Some Karma There...
"Whoever repays evil for good,
Evil shall never depart from his house"
~Proverbs 17:13
Evil shall never depart from his house"
~Proverbs 17:13
Friday, May 5, 2017
Which Me Am I Today?
One of my biggest fears is that I will one day face dementia.
My mother's mother (who I understand I once called "Meow". not to be confused with my father's mother who I later called " The Original Drama Queen") suffered dementia in her later years. I remember times when she spoke to us as strangers, and one particularly disturbing holiday when she thought my toddler cousin was me and I was my mother.
Having such a young mother, I have been safe from this shadow, but have witnessed heartbreaking and horrific events with D/H (who's sweet grandmother kept mistaking him for his father) and through my friends whose parents were older.
It is through one such friend, who's beautiful and doting mother, slipped so suddenly into dementia's demon grip, that I was introduced to the story of Wendy Mitchell.
Wendy is a British woman who was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer's in July 2014 at the age of 58. She worked full time eight full months after her diagnosis, then chose to take early retirement in order to enjoy her life while she could still could remember it. She is a tireless advocate for dementia awareness and research.
I share her blog Which Me Am I Today?
EnJOY!
My mother's mother (who I understand I once called "Meow". not to be confused with my father's mother who I later called " The Original Drama Queen") suffered dementia in her later years. I remember times when she spoke to us as strangers, and one particularly disturbing holiday when she thought my toddler cousin was me and I was my mother.
Having such a young mother, I have been safe from this shadow, but have witnessed heartbreaking and horrific events with D/H (who's sweet grandmother kept mistaking him for his father) and through my friends whose parents were older.
It is through one such friend, who's beautiful and doting mother, slipped so suddenly into dementia's demon grip, that I was introduced to the story of Wendy Mitchell.
Wendy is a British woman who was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer's in July 2014 at the age of 58. She worked full time eight full months after her diagnosis, then chose to take early retirement in order to enjoy her life while she could still could remember it. She is a tireless advocate for dementia awareness and research.
I share her blog Which Me Am I Today?
EnJOY!
Thursday, May 4, 2017
Thursday, April 27, 2017
Until We Meet Again
Today we laid to rest one of my very first friends. I had three other life long friends that I met in kindergarten. Randy had been one of those friends.
When we were in sixth grade, he had been my very first Homecoming "date." I use the word "date" in the loosest of terms: our parents drove us to the game separately and while we sat on the same row on the bleachers, he sat with his friends and I sat with mine. After the half time show, we shared fries and a Coke from the concession stand. Like any other 'tween relationship, it ended that night, as he ran off to play a pick up game of football just outside the end zone, and I went to find my parents.
When we were in seventh grade, he was stricken with cancer. I don't remember which one exactly but I remember how, with graphic detail, he had described the removal of several feet of intestine. While he was away having chemo, we had an assembly where we discussed his diagnosis, what to expect when he returned, how he lost his hair, but how he was still the same Randy that everyone knew and loved.
I remember it being touch and go at one point.The reality that he might actually die had us all stepping over that thin veil between innocence and knowledge of one's mortality. This was the year that Randy accepted Christ and Easter of that year, I made my profession of faith as well.
Answered prayer came in the form of a new chemo drug that would eventually save his life. But like every bit of magic, it came with a price. The miracle drug would damage his heart, and cause a host of problems that he would have to deal with later.
Turns out that "later" was now.
Even after beating cancer a second time when we were in our twenties, he faced several set backs. But he never complained. We both got married, started families, and went about life as usual. We would share casual hellos as we passed at Wallyworld.
Randy's life unraveled just a few years before mine did, Within a few months, he got divorced, then lost his job of 15 years. But he always showed concern for others, had an encouraging word, and would freely pray over the troubles of others. As I transitioned from married to divorces, he checked on me often, shared scripture and words of encouragement, and prayed with me for peace and comfort. He would always remind me that "God has a plan" and would often point out the detours in his own life. After 15 years in insurance, he completely changed focus, nd found a job in his field of study. He also got his personal trainer certificate and met another personal trainer in passing. Soon she was his fiancé, set to marry next month.
Like with many minor illnesses he faced over the years. he was usually admitted to the hospital, and pumped full of antibiotics. This time a nasty sinus infection sent him to the hospital., with difficulty breathing and a high fever. His usual course of treatment did not make a dent, and soon his organs began failing. By Sunday evening, he was gone.
At his funeral today, his son gave the eulogy. He had really become the touchstone for the family over the past week He made all the decisions over Randy's care, and eventually. the funeral. Just days after signing his father's DNR order, he was delivering the eulogy. He is the same age as Tigger.
I saw people that I have not seen outside of Facebook in over 30 years. After the service we stood around the parking lot reminiscing and promising to ''get together soon."
Until we meet again, Randy.
When we were in sixth grade, he had been my very first Homecoming "date." I use the word "date" in the loosest of terms: our parents drove us to the game separately and while we sat on the same row on the bleachers, he sat with his friends and I sat with mine. After the half time show, we shared fries and a Coke from the concession stand. Like any other 'tween relationship, it ended that night, as he ran off to play a pick up game of football just outside the end zone, and I went to find my parents.
When we were in seventh grade, he was stricken with cancer. I don't remember which one exactly but I remember how, with graphic detail, he had described the removal of several feet of intestine. While he was away having chemo, we had an assembly where we discussed his diagnosis, what to expect when he returned, how he lost his hair, but how he was still the same Randy that everyone knew and loved.
I remember it being touch and go at one point.The reality that he might actually die had us all stepping over that thin veil between innocence and knowledge of one's mortality. This was the year that Randy accepted Christ and Easter of that year, I made my profession of faith as well.
Answered prayer came in the form of a new chemo drug that would eventually save his life. But like every bit of magic, it came with a price. The miracle drug would damage his heart, and cause a host of problems that he would have to deal with later.
Turns out that "later" was now.
Even after beating cancer a second time when we were in our twenties, he faced several set backs. But he never complained. We both got married, started families, and went about life as usual. We would share casual hellos as we passed at Wallyworld.
Randy's life unraveled just a few years before mine did, Within a few months, he got divorced, then lost his job of 15 years. But he always showed concern for others, had an encouraging word, and would freely pray over the troubles of others. As I transitioned from married to divorces, he checked on me often, shared scripture and words of encouragement, and prayed with me for peace and comfort. He would always remind me that "God has a plan" and would often point out the detours in his own life. After 15 years in insurance, he completely changed focus, nd found a job in his field of study. He also got his personal trainer certificate and met another personal trainer in passing. Soon she was his fiancé, set to marry next month.
Like with many minor illnesses he faced over the years. he was usually admitted to the hospital, and pumped full of antibiotics. This time a nasty sinus infection sent him to the hospital., with difficulty breathing and a high fever. His usual course of treatment did not make a dent, and soon his organs began failing. By Sunday evening, he was gone.
At his funeral today, his son gave the eulogy. He had really become the touchstone for the family over the past week He made all the decisions over Randy's care, and eventually. the funeral. Just days after signing his father's DNR order, he was delivering the eulogy. He is the same age as Tigger.
I saw people that I have not seen outside of Facebook in over 30 years. After the service we stood around the parking lot reminiscing and promising to ''get together soon."
Until we meet again, Randy.
Tuesday, March 7, 2017
A Gift For Me.
Someone once told me that I only loved myself. At the time, they were very wrong. I loved everyone but myself. And the way I lived my life proved it. I let people run all over me. I scrimped and saved and sacrificed, over and over again. I let people steal from me and never said anything, because I thought they loved me too.
It has taken me a very long time, but I finally have a gift for me.
I love myself.
I love myself enough to not have to settle for someone who completely ignores me
I love myself enough to not be with someone who only shows affection when he wants something.
I love myself enough to ask questions when things don't add up.
I love myself enough to know the difference between having someone be there for me and just having someone be there.
I love myself enough to be with someone who will think I am his top priority and put my best interest first. To support me. To protect me.
I love myself enough to stand up for myself when things are not right.
I love myself enough to walk away if I need to.
I finally love myself
It has taken me a very long time, but I finally have a gift for me.
I love myself.
I love myself enough to not have to settle for someone who completely ignores me
I love myself enough to not be with someone who only shows affection when he wants something.
I love myself enough to ask questions when things don't add up.
I love myself enough to know the difference between having someone be there for me and just having someone be there.
I love myself enough to be with someone who will think I am his top priority and put my best interest first. To support me. To protect me.
I love myself enough to stand up for myself when things are not right.
I love myself enough to walk away if I need to.
I finally love myself
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