Yeah, I have Flu Type A.
When the doctor comes in with your excuse, your prescriptions, and this mask, things can't be good.
Wednesday, February 27, 2019
Wednesday, February 20, 2019
Hello....It's Me
I have been thinking about "my son" a lot lately.
The son I raised and loved as my own for fifteen years. The son who once told my best friend that he understood the difference between me and his biological mother . The fact that I chose him was not lost on him.
The boy I had called "Tigger" was now a man.
I have not seen him in five very long years.
Is he happy?
Is he healthy?
Is he thinking for himself ?
Is he still trying to gain approval?
We have a new kid in our karaoke group who reminds me so much of Tigger that I almost cry every time I see him. The first time I saw him, the resemblance was so uncanny, I had to ask myself if I was dreaming. He is a very good sport about the resemblance and he jokingly calls me "Mom" when the group is together. He is the same age. He too, had been separated from his own mother, and he welcomes the motherly attention. He patiently listened to the story about how long it has been since I had seen him, and how there was no telling what he had been told and paid me the sweetest compliment, wishing I had been his stepmother instead of the woman his own father had ran off with. He even let me give him a "birthday" hug on Tigger's birthday last December.
I miss Tigger terribly.
I hope that no other mother would ever have to go through this.
The son I raised and loved as my own for fifteen years. The son who once told my best friend that he understood the difference between me and his biological mother . The fact that I chose him was not lost on him.
The boy I had called "Tigger" was now a man.
I have not seen him in five very long years.
Is he happy?
Is he healthy?
Is he thinking for himself ?
Is he still trying to gain approval?
We have a new kid in our karaoke group who reminds me so much of Tigger that I almost cry every time I see him. The first time I saw him, the resemblance was so uncanny, I had to ask myself if I was dreaming. He is a very good sport about the resemblance and he jokingly calls me "Mom" when the group is together. He is the same age. He too, had been separated from his own mother, and he welcomes the motherly attention. He patiently listened to the story about how long it has been since I had seen him, and how there was no telling what he had been told and paid me the sweetest compliment, wishing I had been his stepmother instead of the woman his own father had ran off with. He even let me give him a "birthday" hug on Tigger's birthday last December.
I miss Tigger terribly.
I hope that no other mother would ever have to go through this.
Sunday, February 17, 2019
Thursday, February 14, 2019
Happy Valentine's Day
Just when you think you are gonna make it through February 14th, someone does something sweet that almost makes you cry.
Happy Valentine's Day y'all!
Tuesday, February 5, 2019
On The Court
Last night was a momentous occasion for Kit Kat.
She was selected as a top five finalist for Homecoming Queen at her community college out of a field of 15 hopefuls.
As far as homecomings go, it was different from any I have ever attended. As there is no football team at this college, it was held at the basketball game. I did not see any corsages or an alumni area and not really sure if there were alumni. There were hardly students in the ladies game.
The local title holder performed a few songs at half time and the home team gave the visitors a pretty good licking. It was all very exciting.
KitKat chose her grandfather as her escort. and there was a great deal of discussion over his attire. My ex mother in law called Julz for advice and she suggested jeans and a sport jacket and that is what Gramps settled on.
The procession made its way around the edge of the gym, with KitKat and Gramps bringing up the rear. They stood nervously as the announcer read the accomplishments of the ladies ahead of her.
When they came to KitKat's resume, they highlighted the fact that her grandfather served our country in the Vietnam war, which was met with applause, but Gramps missed his accolade.
After crowning the Homecoming Queen, they crowned the rest of her court as well, with little princess crowns.
She was selected as a top five finalist for Homecoming Queen at her community college out of a field of 15 hopefuls.
As far as homecomings go, it was different from any I have ever attended. As there is no football team at this college, it was held at the basketball game. I did not see any corsages or an alumni area and not really sure if there were alumni. There were hardly students in the ladies game.
The local title holder performed a few songs at half time and the home team gave the visitors a pretty good licking. It was all very exciting.
KitKat chose her grandfather as her escort. and there was a great deal of discussion over his attire. My ex mother in law called Julz for advice and she suggested jeans and a sport jacket and that is what Gramps settled on.
The procession made its way around the edge of the gym, with KitKat and Gramps bringing up the rear. They stood nervously as the announcer read the accomplishments of the ladies ahead of her.
When they came to KitKat's resume, they highlighted the fact that her grandfather served our country in the Vietnam war, which was met with applause, but Gramps missed his accolade.
After crowning the Homecoming Queen, they crowned the rest of her court as well, with little princess crowns.
We took a quick moment to take a few pictures, before heading out to dinner.
Granny and Gramps treated us to Rock 'n Roll Sushi, a favorite for all three of us. Granny and Gramps were new to the restaurant but no strangers to sushi. Our waitress was apparently new.
I was happy to have the same menu items as the original here in town, so ordering was easy. I love the Heart roll, baked.
We chatted and took selfies while we waited for dinner.
Tuesday, January 22, 2019
A Tale of Regret
I love it when my friends "tag" me in all the "runaway husband" stories. I have become the cautionary tale. The one who's husband walked out on her, for a woman he hardly knew. One would think I am a little bitter (and there are times that I am) but I am also EXTREMELY grateful to no longer be saddled with the responsibility of a selfish, narcissistic asshole.
But this story hit kinda close to home. The similarities...married 15 years, both parties married...Facebook friends. spouse battling depression alone, while the other spouse ran around.
So, in keeping with all the other posts I have made about cheating spouses. I thought I'd share this one too. Few people cheating ever think about the consequences of their actions. At least this guy did. Even if it is too late.
*********************************************************
This is a tale of regret.
"1 was married, had been with my wife for 15 years. Then I left her 2 months short of our 10 year wedding anniversary.
We were parents to two beautiful children,... who are in their late teens now, but were only seven and nine years old when I walked out.
But this story hit kinda close to home. The similarities...married 15 years, both parties married...Facebook friends. spouse battling depression alone, while the other spouse ran around.
So, in keeping with all the other posts I have made about cheating spouses. I thought I'd share this one too. Few people cheating ever think about the consequences of their actions. At least this guy did. Even if it is too late.
*********************************************************
This is a tale of regret.
"1 was married, had been with my wife for 15 years. Then I left her 2 months short of our 10 year wedding anniversary.
We were parents to two beautiful children,... who are in their late teens now, but were only seven and nine years old when I walked out.
I travelled for work, stayed in a different hotel at least three nights a week. That’s how I met Eve*.
We got to know each other over time. We became Facebook friends. We sent messages to each other all day and night. She was also married, also had two kids. We had so much in common, we soon fell in love. I felt like she 'got' me.
This was all during a very trying time in my marriage. I wasn’t happy, I didn’t look forward to going home. My wife had put on weight, we hardly ever spoke, she always looked so miserable.
Little did I realize that I was the reason she was so down and depressed. I didn’t pay her any attention. I took her for granted. I was too busy wishing my life was more exciting, being romanced online, spending all of my free time thinking how I could get out.
I believed she didn’t love me. I convinced myself she never cared about me or my needs and wants and wishes, that all I was a paycheck.
She spent her free time taking care of us -- our kids, making our suppers, doing out washing, making lunches, doing homework, projects, shuttling kids to sport, taking care of the pets they loved so much, their friends, and had a job of her own on top of it all.
Every time she spoke to me, all I heard was nagging and whining. But she was actually begging for my attention: a weekend away, a date night, a movie -- everything I ended up doing with Eve behind her back and after I left my family.
We argued and fought because we felt unheard by the other. And yet that was all we actually had to do – LISTEN – to each other!
I moved to another province with Eve. My now ex-wife got custody of our kids. I saw them every second weekend, the usual 'Dad' set up.
New beginnings
Life was sweet!
Eve and I had an amazing sex life. A connection I believed I never had with my ex. We had a large circle of friends. My family loved her. My kids liked her.
But my ex could never bring herself to meet Eve – she felt betrayed. I hated her even more! She was childish. She was mean. She never cared about me or my happiness. I didn’t care about my ex’s feelings when I posted photos of us on Facebook… I had Eve and a whole new life and it was fantastic!
We were together for about six or seven years but never married – we believed marriage was not our thing.
I believed that after 15 years with my ex, we’d given it all we could and our time together was up, there was nothing we could do to salvage our relationship or marriage. Eve was my future, Eve was who I should have been with all along.
Eventually, no matter how well we got along in the beginning; no matter how well I thought she “got” me; no matter how good the sex was; the “honeymoon” came to an end.
Eve and I started snapping at each other. Little fights here and there. I had a moment of pure realization one night, at about 2am.
I realized that I missed the woman who created my first home and family. I realized that if I'd treated my ex-wife the way I’d treated Eve, used the hours I spend woo-ing Eve on my ex, she’d have bloomed.
If I’d stopped being negative about her and our relationship to my family and friends they wouldn’t have been so negative to her and she wouldn’t have pulled into herself and shied away.
She became someone I convinced myself I no longer knew or got along with because I never gave her the time and affection and attention she craved and deserved.
I thought I had, but when I got down and really thought about it I never really did. I never really let her in. I had ended my marriage years before with the simple decision that she was no longer who or what I wanted. And I’d convinced my family and friends the same – that she was no good for me!
Regret sets in
But I was wrong. I missed the best years of my kids lives. Missed being a family with them. I let their mother battle with raising them alone. Yes I helped financially, but a man living outside his family has no real idea what the costs are on the single mother. While Eve and I ate steaks on the weekends, my ex-wife was living on egg and toast.
And do you know that she never complained? She never demanded more money out of me. She never stopped me from seeing the kids. Never said no if I changed plans on her at the last minute. She gave up her weekends so that my mother could spend time with her grandchildren. She left me to get on with my life with Eve, even though it must have killed her.
Like any relationship, it had started out good – great in fact – but when it go bad I decided to leave… I walked out and divorced a woman who – and I can only see this now – would have done anything for me. But I’d told myself she wouldn’t or couldn’t.
My ex-wife stayed single for 8 years. She dated but never got involved. Her being single was also a kind of affirmation for me – that no one wanted her – that everything I’d decided she lacked, so did other men… She actually stayed single to focus on our children.
Too late
And then came the day she met Craig. I never thought it would bug me in any way if she got a boyfriend. I thought it would be great! But I was very wrong. I felt hurt. I felt jealous. I even felt angry and maybe betrayed.
She moved in with Craig, along with my kids. She set up a new home. A new family, with my kids… it was a very bitter pill to swallow.
I finally understood how she’d felt all these years. And it felt rotten.
I watched via Facebook and through conversations with our old mutual friends how Craig spoiled her and the kids. Their weekends were spent on the beach – he surfed with my son. They went hiking in the Burg. They went to Mauritius where he proposed on a kayak and she said yes -- they got married.
My daughter was a bridesmaid. My son was a groomsman. Craig’s parents and brother welcomed my ex-wife and children into their family. They told everyone how blessed they were to be gaining them as family.
She glowed with happiness. She radiated love and none of it was for me! My heart felt like it had been ripped out.
It should have been me.
Don’t be me. You think you will never be happy when you are in a rut. It is when you are there at your darkest that you need to grip down and try your hardest.
Today I live alone and still only see my kids occasionally. They are big now and harbor anger towards me for leaving them and their mother. Who can blame them?
Of all the things Eve was, she was never the mother of my children – my original true love."
"HOPE this helps a few marriages, Love and appreciate a Good woman"
We got to know each other over time. We became Facebook friends. We sent messages to each other all day and night. She was also married, also had two kids. We had so much in common, we soon fell in love. I felt like she 'got' me.
This was all during a very trying time in my marriage. I wasn’t happy, I didn’t look forward to going home. My wife had put on weight, we hardly ever spoke, she always looked so miserable.
Little did I realize that I was the reason she was so down and depressed. I didn’t pay her any attention. I took her for granted. I was too busy wishing my life was more exciting, being romanced online, spending all of my free time thinking how I could get out.
I believed she didn’t love me. I convinced myself she never cared about me or my needs and wants and wishes, that all I was a paycheck.
She spent her free time taking care of us -- our kids, making our suppers, doing out washing, making lunches, doing homework, projects, shuttling kids to sport, taking care of the pets they loved so much, their friends, and had a job of her own on top of it all.
Every time she spoke to me, all I heard was nagging and whining. But she was actually begging for my attention: a weekend away, a date night, a movie -- everything I ended up doing with Eve behind her back and after I left my family.
We argued and fought because we felt unheard by the other. And yet that was all we actually had to do – LISTEN – to each other!
I moved to another province with Eve. My now ex-wife got custody of our kids. I saw them every second weekend, the usual 'Dad' set up.
New beginnings
Life was sweet!
Eve and I had an amazing sex life. A connection I believed I never had with my ex. We had a large circle of friends. My family loved her. My kids liked her.
But my ex could never bring herself to meet Eve – she felt betrayed. I hated her even more! She was childish. She was mean. She never cared about me or my happiness. I didn’t care about my ex’s feelings when I posted photos of us on Facebook… I had Eve and a whole new life and it was fantastic!
We were together for about six or seven years but never married – we believed marriage was not our thing.
I believed that after 15 years with my ex, we’d given it all we could and our time together was up, there was nothing we could do to salvage our relationship or marriage. Eve was my future, Eve was who I should have been with all along.
Eventually, no matter how well we got along in the beginning; no matter how well I thought she “got” me; no matter how good the sex was; the “honeymoon” came to an end.
Eve and I started snapping at each other. Little fights here and there. I had a moment of pure realization one night, at about 2am.
I realized that I missed the woman who created my first home and family. I realized that if I'd treated my ex-wife the way I’d treated Eve, used the hours I spend woo-ing Eve on my ex, she’d have bloomed.
If I’d stopped being negative about her and our relationship to my family and friends they wouldn’t have been so negative to her and she wouldn’t have pulled into herself and shied away.
She became someone I convinced myself I no longer knew or got along with because I never gave her the time and affection and attention she craved and deserved.
I thought I had, but when I got down and really thought about it I never really did. I never really let her in. I had ended my marriage years before with the simple decision that she was no longer who or what I wanted. And I’d convinced my family and friends the same – that she was no good for me!
Regret sets in
But I was wrong. I missed the best years of my kids lives. Missed being a family with them. I let their mother battle with raising them alone. Yes I helped financially, but a man living outside his family has no real idea what the costs are on the single mother. While Eve and I ate steaks on the weekends, my ex-wife was living on egg and toast.
And do you know that she never complained? She never demanded more money out of me. She never stopped me from seeing the kids. Never said no if I changed plans on her at the last minute. She gave up her weekends so that my mother could spend time with her grandchildren. She left me to get on with my life with Eve, even though it must have killed her.
Like any relationship, it had started out good – great in fact – but when it go bad I decided to leave… I walked out and divorced a woman who – and I can only see this now – would have done anything for me. But I’d told myself she wouldn’t or couldn’t.
My ex-wife stayed single for 8 years. She dated but never got involved. Her being single was also a kind of affirmation for me – that no one wanted her – that everything I’d decided she lacked, so did other men… She actually stayed single to focus on our children.
Too late
And then came the day she met Craig. I never thought it would bug me in any way if she got a boyfriend. I thought it would be great! But I was very wrong. I felt hurt. I felt jealous. I even felt angry and maybe betrayed.
She moved in with Craig, along with my kids. She set up a new home. A new family, with my kids… it was a very bitter pill to swallow.
I finally understood how she’d felt all these years. And it felt rotten.
I watched via Facebook and through conversations with our old mutual friends how Craig spoiled her and the kids. Their weekends were spent on the beach – he surfed with my son. They went hiking in the Burg. They went to Mauritius where he proposed on a kayak and she said yes -- they got married.
My daughter was a bridesmaid. My son was a groomsman. Craig’s parents and brother welcomed my ex-wife and children into their family. They told everyone how blessed they were to be gaining them as family.
She glowed with happiness. She radiated love and none of it was for me! My heart felt like it had been ripped out.
It should have been me.
Don’t be me. You think you will never be happy when you are in a rut. It is when you are there at your darkest that you need to grip down and try your hardest.
Today I live alone and still only see my kids occasionally. They are big now and harbor anger towards me for leaving them and their mother. Who can blame them?
Of all the things Eve was, she was never the mother of my children – my original true love."
"HOPE this helps a few marriages, Love and appreciate a Good woman"
Wednesday, January 16, 2019
Posting For A Friend
Ever since I was duped into believing that the scrub I had married was truly in love with me, only to find, soon after he left, that he had numerous affairs, did I vow that I would do my best to educate those around me to the narcissistic and sociopathic habits of those types of men.
The doctor interviewed called his behavior "textbook."
Indeed.
She is almost telling my story. Well, outside of having a baby.
Like when the "outside party" calls her and confirms what she had been fearing to be true, that she cried "tears of joy" because all the craziness finally made sense. Just like me.
I had long suspected something was not quite right but I had (blindly) trusted someone who had once admitted to cheating on his first wife. I was nothing like his first wife so I would be silly to think he would cheat on me.
Ha Ha Ha...silly girl!
Men Never Change.
Pick up your copy of A Beautiful Terrible Thing at a bookstore near you.
I came across this video today, an interview by Megan Kelly with Jen Waite, author of A Beautiful Terrible Thing, on how she found her own life turned upside down.
The doctor interviewed called his behavior "textbook."
Indeed.
She is almost telling my story. Well, outside of having a baby.
Like when the "outside party" calls her and confirms what she had been fearing to be true, that she cried "tears of joy" because all the craziness finally made sense. Just like me.
I had long suspected something was not quite right but I had (blindly) trusted someone who had once admitted to cheating on his first wife. I was nothing like his first wife so I would be silly to think he would cheat on me.
Ha Ha Ha...silly girl!
Men Never Change.
Pick up your copy of A Beautiful Terrible Thing at a bookstore near you.
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