Sunday, March 27, 2011

Confession Time: Shaving

NOTE: This confession is not for the faint of heart.

For the record: I HATE SHAVING MY LEGS!

There, I've said it. It's not that I don't like having silky smooth legs, I just hate the process that gets them there. If I could shave them one last final time and never have to worry with it again, I'd be the happiest girl in the world.

(Also for the record, these are NOT my legs. Note the scarred knee. This is just for illustration purposes.)

I know. Hairy legs on a woman is not very sexy. Frankly, I've NEVER been any good at it. I have very coarse, unusally dense, curly hair on my arms and legs that grow in all directions. Despite spending a great deal of money on the best products, and a great deal of time, carefully shaving, I still manage to aquire quite a few nasty nicks or a large amount of razor burn. I leave behind enough blood in my beige bathroom to look like a 70's slasher moview was filmed in there. Silky smooth legs in between a dozen or so band-aids are not sexy either.

Then there are the spots that I miss. And not just little spots, long swatches of fuzzy skin, usually visible to everyone but me. My knees and ankles are always the worst, mostly because they are thin and bony. I will never forget my embarassment as a lunch date pointed out both a patch of razor burn and a missed patch on my knee. Yeah, he was a superficial jerk, but I digress.

This is quite possibly one of my biggest secrets. There was a time when I was extremely meticulous about my grooming rituals. I'd never dream of being caught with ragged nails or chipped polish. I wouldn't go to the mail box without my hair curled or my makeup perfect, I wouldn't dream of having a single stray stubbly hair visible. But as more important things in life started happening (code for being a busy mom), I came to care for myself less and less. Yes, I know there are women who can juggle EVERYTHING that life throws at them. I am not one of those women. Somethings have to fall by the wayside. Most days, if my top matches my pants, and my shoes match those, I consider it a good day, whether I have on makeup or my hair is fixed or not.

This is not to say that I am not clean. As I have posted here before, cleanliness is very important to me. Proper bathing is paramount!

I try to avoid shaving my legs whenever possible, usually the Winter months, and hold out as long as I can. I can get away with it easily because I usally wear pants all Winter. Every now and again, I will wear thick tights or tall boots with a skirt, just to vary my wardrobe, all while hiding my hairy legs. Then, usually about right now, it's time to start shaving again.

Now, as blase' as I am about shaving my legs, my underarms are a completely different story. I can't take a shower or bath that I don't shave my underarms. Even if I'd just shaved them that morning, I've got to shave them again.

I think women with unshaven underarms are just gross, no matter who they may be.

I even think that men should shave theirs too. My husband had unusually hairy underarms when we met. Whenever he felt the need to wear a tank top, which was often, everyone got an eye full. It always reminded me of Krumm, from the Ahh! Real Monsters! cartoon series.

Thankfully, when he started working out, someone convinced him that it would be beneficial to shave them, so he did.

I've always wondered why it was decided that women must shave certain body parts but men must not. Think about it. Where it is desireable for men to have hair, it is desirable for women to not have it.

Interesting double standard.


April said...

Ugh, I have to shave like EVERYTHING and it's so annoying! I can't wait to save up for laser hair removal! LOL!

Gracie said...

I enjoyed your Blog. I found it from April Showers. There really is an unfair double standard. p.s. War Eagle! =)

MOM GETS_FIT said...

You're hillarious. I thought those were your legs! They may be hairy, but they sure are toned.