Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Weekly What I Wore: Funeral Edition

This week's Weekly What I Wore I am calling "The Funeral Editon" because I'm going to a funeral today. 

The mother of a friend from my old neighborhood  had passed away on Monday and the service is today.

Mrs. Isbell was always warm and welcoming. Her oldest child went to school with my mother. Her youngest child was my first love. Her house was always filled with friends and she would always cook a little extra because she never knew who may be coming to dinner.  I have many fond memories of her.

I had worn my "funeral dress," a simple black crepe sheath dress from Kasper, on Tuesday in anticipation of  attending visitation that night, but plans later changed.

This dress, that I purchased from Dress Barn, I consider more of a Winter dress because of the thicker jersey fabric. The diagonal stripes, in varying shades of gray and black, whittled my wide waistline and gave the illusion of shape.

While it was comfortable to wear at work all day, it was a little thicker than I would have wanted to wear in an Alabama August. But it was a black dress, and it was clean, so it fulfilled my rules for "proper funeral attire" that it was both dark and respectable.

And Mrs. Isbell deserved my best.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Confession Time: Evil Thoughts

Is it just me, or do you stand a little straighter when you realize that you are better looking than your exes new sweetie? Really, I shouldn't care but it's kinda funny

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Weekly What I Wore: The one with the hubby

This week's edition of the WWIW features Darling Hubby and this fabulous dress I got at Ross for ....wait for it......FIFTEEN NINETY-NINE!

The daughter of an old school chum is getting married this week in Georgia. So her parents threw a party here so that all her Alabama folks could meet the future husband and wish them luck.

What a great occasion for a new dress...right?

And this flattering number filled the bill, at a steal! I still can't believe I got this for $15.99!

The colorful design down the front and the black sides trick the eye and shave off ten pounds. Pair with the natural-toned MOST EXPENSIVE SHOES EVER lends to the illusion of a longer leg.

Since me and Darling Hubby rarely get dressed up for any occasion, I thought I'd snap a quick pic. 


Monday, August 19, 2013

Club Fashion: Redneck Style

Darling Hubby and I , along with a couple of his buddies went out to a local bar Saturday night to see a favorite cover band called DV8. These guys really know how to rock the house.  
They play hard rock/classic rock/alternative rock, so it's kinda hard to dance to. And it's very LOUD. I usually stuff napkins down in my ears to save my hearing. Hey, I made it out of the 80's with my hearing intact, suprisingly, so don't knock it until you've tried it.
(Several people I went to high school frequent there and let me say, this post does not apply to any of them. )
As I sat there, I started noticing some disturbing fashion trends in the women that frequent this establishment.
I thought I'd take a moment to discuss them here:
 1) If your boobs (or anything else for that matter) is no longer where they used to be, please DO NOT (a) go braless or (b) go strapless. I swear one lady's boobs migrated to under her arms while she was dancing.  Real. Damn. Sexy.
There is a great shop over at the Summit called The Fitting Touch. They sell great bras for girls of all sizes. They support them and lift them back up where they belong, but they don't work if you don't wear them.  Google it then make a visit. Its well worth the money!
2) If you have to ask your friend " does this tube top/mini skirt/ backless shirt/ booty shorts /etc...make me look fat?" it usually does and you already know that it does. You dont need to be wearing it.  Period
3) If you are 40 and over, do not raid your teenaged daughter's closet for an outfit. Ever. I knowthat you think it's sexy, but you would be wrong. You will not be pulling anything over on anyone. I had more compliments thank you and I was wearing a tshirt and jeans. I had two folks tell me that they just don't meet any "classy women like you (i.e. me!) anymore."  Oh. And you look rrreeeeaaaaalllllyyyy stupid.
4) If you bleach your hair to the point it is falling out, it does not "look pretty " no matter what you do to it. That should be self explainatory.
5) If you can't handle dancing in heels, DO NOT wear them. Why? Because this will cause you to take them off and run around, in a public forum, barefooted. My "Lady McBeth" OCD-self  does not need to  find you washing your nasty, bare feet in the sink in the bathroom.  Ladies put their hands in there! Wearing heels is a skill. I learned how to wear mine 8 hours at a time. Nowd I can actually lift and carry heavy objects while wearing them.
7) Know how to hold your liquor. If you cant, please stay home. Even if it's your birthday and all your friends want to get you drunk and keep buying you free drinks. I'd rather you not vomit on my heels.
I just wanted to run up and grab the lady in the spandes tubetop and booty shorts, and tell her that her outfit should have stayed back in the disco era ,back when it probably looked hot on her, but it was now time to retire it.
Trust me. Next time you go out
Step Away from that mini skirt

Monday, August 5, 2013

Weekly What I Wore

Okay, so this posting before Wednesday is working out really great! I seem to be getting in on the Weekly What I Wore (formerly known as What I Wore Wednesday)  earlier and earlier.

Today, I wore this great black skirt from the Kasper outlet at my local outlet mall. I found it in a bag, tags still attached. The  receipt included says that I purchased it in December and that it had been marked down 40%.  My Chadwick's of Boston motled tank,  Jones New York sweater and my second pair of "MOST EXPENSIVE SHOES EVER."

I also realized today that I did not tell the story of  my MOST EXPENSIVE SHOES EVER, so I decided to tell it here.

A little over a year ago, wandering around said outlet mall and decided on a whim to go into the Nine West shop.  I usually try to avoid shoe stores because of the obvious problem with my feet.  I breezed through but a large "SIZE 11" sticker on the end of a box near the door stopped me in my tracks.  THEY HAVE MY SIZE!!!  I couldn't believe it!

But the price sticker right under that beautiful,  little round size sticker made me realize, they may have shoes in my size, but I will never be able to afford them.

Dejected, I started to walk out, then the ever helpful sales staff told me that there was a sale on and the price marked was not necessarily the price I would pay.  Hope renewed, I started looking at shoes that came in my size.

THE MOST EXPENSIVE SHOES EVER were tan slingback platforms, with a stacked wooden heel. They felt like butter. They blended seamlessly into my legs.   Sale Price:$65

The only time I felt love like this, well pretty darn close to this, was when my daughter was born. I had to have them. But $65.  My entire shoe wardrobe probably didn't cost that much. I paced back in forth by the window, trying to talk myself out of them. 

A dear friend, Janine, worked in the shop next door. I had just "visited" her, so I knew I could go to her for advice. 

"You never buy anything for yourself! Buy them!" she cajoled. 

"I know, but the moment I buy them, I'm going to find out that there is some medical bill I haven't paid, or the lights are about to be cut off or something."

Even the shop manager, a large fellow that could have been an "alternative lifestyler" got into the sale. "They are comfortable, they are cute, they are leather, they go with anything, them!"

So I worked up the courage, walked next door, and plunked down my d e b i t card.

I immediately felt guilty. Whenever I spend a lot of money on something, it always comes back to bite me in the behind. There is always some new bill, or hidden school fee, or last minute field trip or something that rears it's ugly head right after I make a big purchse.

I carried my new shoes home, but wouldn't wear them for weeks.  I couldn't even enjoy them. They sat at the end of my bed for close to a month.

Finally, I did wear them, but only out of necessity.  (Have you ever lost just one shoe in the bottom of your closet? )

I got lots of compliments on them, but I quantified every compliment with "Well, they should. They are the MOST EXPENSIVE SHOES EVER."

Fast forward to April of this year.

After an off-site meeting, my boss and I found ourselves with a little time to kill. Enter the mall.  Because it is a store that I frequently go in, drool over shoes I can't afford then leave, I insisted that we stop in.  I showed her the other versions of THE MOST EXPENSIVE SHOE EVER in black and black mock croc. My boss was trying on another pair from down the way.

The saleslady sidled up behind us, "you know that we are having a buy-one-get-one-half-off sale."  The boss and I looked at each other. Then the saleslady said something that made my whole shoe shopping experience different. "You could combine your purchse, split the difference, and save. AND we can do it on two credit cards, so you each get a reciept"


We each got a great pair of shoes at an even better price!


I hope to stumble upon that deal again!