Friday, August 31, 2012

I Think I Just Got Punk'd

I don't talk about my work a lot, with good reason.

I am the assistant manager of a call center.

I have done what I do now for 21 years. 

That's 21 years for being yelled at, cussed out, and English and several foreign languages. 21 years of being treated like I'm stupid because I have a Southern accent. 21 years of being hit-on, because I have a Southern accent. There is not much to be said that I have not heard, to one extent or another, over 21 years. That includes conversations during the first 6 months of a new 1-900 number that is alarmingly close to my work number.

Well, I can go on to Glory now, because I have heard it ALL!

I am helping answer the phones today because we have several people on vacation. I like answering calls because, for the most part, they are the same. You listen, record the information, share the confirmation number and move on to the next one. There are no life or death decisions, like trying to make 450 cases of coffee ordered at 4:54 pm yesterday appear out of thin air for a delivery picking up the Tuesday after a holiday. Listen, be pleasant, record info, enter.  Simple

 This call comes in about 11:45 a.m from a lady who asks where she is calling. That happens a lot. All of our publicly listed telephone lines  from all over the country, ring here at headquarters in Birmingham. We do have some regional offices that have an admin that answers, but they are forwarded here for their lunch hour. The variety of Southern accents that answer here usually cues the caller in to the fact that we ain't local.

I explain that I am in the headquarters office and asked how could I help her.

I knew I was in trouble when she said that I could pray for her.

I know that I've shared here that I am a true, washed in the Blood, Southern Baptist. So when someone asks me to pray for them, I do just that, without question. And boy, will I be praying for this lady.

She said that she found our number in the phone book and thought it was odd that I wasn't nearby. Very soon I was glad that I wasn't nearby.

wasnopausesorbeginingsorendingsjustaneverendingstreamthatleadmetobelieve thatshehadreachedher
coffeequotaforthedayandwasworkingon severalotherpeoplesquotaaswell.

The next 10 minutes, the only time she paused from her spiel was to ask me a question and await my answer. She asked about the history of Labor Day, which threw me,but I later realized that the history of Labor Day is currently on our hold music recording. She asked about the company. I gave her my best "published company history" answers. 

She told me that she was  " insert popular female super hero here" and that she was currently working to push a budget proposal through Washington, even though all of our money was Chinese. She said that she was going to save the country with coffee and that she needed our help. She told me that her father was "insert long deceased undesputed genius here" and that she was his greates accomplishment. She told me that she was very excited because coffee would save the country, unless she was in England, and then it'd be tea. Because she was a princess, like Diana, who had died 15 years ago today.

As I sat listening, I thought, our Tampa admin would have gotten a kick out of this call. I doubt she would have put up with it very long, but I was too stunned to hang up.

THEN...she prayed for our company, and Chinese money, and coffee. A true Southern Baptist doesn't interupt a prayer and when she reached "...and all God's people said..." I replied with a hearty Amen.

I swear, I better see Ashton Kutcher soon...


Wednesday, August 29, 2012

What I Wore Wednesday

Dress = Banana Republic Outlet (clearance) Marked $70...scored it for $20 !!
Shoes = Cato (also clearance) ...$7.99
Belt = Walmart $9.99
Earrings = Cato $3.99
I thought that I would wear these cool little aquare silver earrings rather than my usual hoops. Here they are close up.
And I ALWAYS forget to link back to everyone else who does What I Wore Wednesday
Sorry Y'all

Friday, August 24, 2012

Making Your Own Fun

My parents (both pair) are nuts.

My Dad and his wife are big Facebook fans. So much so, that I now have to ask myself, What Would Dad Think. I rush to remind my friends, who often enjoy posting moderately suggestive things on my wall, that my dad can read them!  One particularly embarassing exchange took place on my anniversary, when the "if the house is a'rockin', don't come a knockin'" comment was made. Red-faced, I rushed to post that my DADDY could read that. My dad, then posted  that he knew it was a school night and that I'd be in bed early.  I was so embarassed! Like I said in an earlier post, there are just somethings that a daddy should not know.

My Mother and her husband, The Chief,  have this quasi-feral cat that they have been feeding for the better part of three years. They have named him "Oreo" because of his black and white coloring. They have NEVER been able to put their hands on him. He will nearly kill himself to escape even the mildest hint of human contact. But every day, Oreo makes his way to my Mother's back door for his twice-daily meals. She frets over him when doesn't show up for a few days, They bring him treats. They made him a house when it snowed. But they have never touched him.
At any rate, Mother noticed that something was going on with his food a few weeks back. She would feed him, his bowl would be empty, but he would always seem hungry.  Then one night, on a late-night kitchen trip, she discovered the culprit. A large racoon was busy helping himself to Oreo's food. On the deck, two stories off the ground.  Oreo looked on from the corner of the deck, obviously annoyed but visibly helpless.

And with that, "Operation Raccoon Roundup" began.

The Chief purchased a large critter trap and set it up on the deck. Then they waited

I recieved this recent thread of emails from my Mother. It was forwarded from The Chief

           From: The Chief
           To: Everyone Important in Address Book 
           Sent: Fri, August 17, 2012 8:12:15 AM
            Subject: Dum-da- dum-dum (Dragnet Theme)

It was warm in Irondale, I was working the night watch stake out detail out of robbery. I had been assigned to the late shift in the hopes of capturing an elusive thief who had been pilfering food from a Mr. Oreo.

Mr. Oreo described the suspect as short and fat, wearing a brown coat with stripes. He was also described as wearing a mask.

We had set up a sophisticated closed circuit TV feed to monitor the sites of the previous thefts, but as with all city equipment, the battery began to die on the equipment after about four hours. Totally unreliable.

My partner has already gone 10-42 but, being the dedicated person I was, decided to give it another 15 minutes. It was 00:20 when my well trained ears detected the metallic "clank" of the door on the trap spring shut.

I jumped into action and saw that the suspect had fallen into our trap. There, frantically running back and forth, was the culprit, trapped like a rat in the temporary holding cell.

I immediately ran and awakened my partner and we took mug shots of the suspect while still inside the cell.

I advised him of his rights but he remained silent. Since we could not locate Mr. Oreo to sign a warrant, we were forced to release the suspect without any further action.

We decided to do some old fashion "cross boundary" policing. We transported the suspect to Leeds, AL near the Bass Pro shop just across the city limits.

We sternly admonished the suspect not to return to Irondale or he may suffer a more grievous fate.

We released the suspect and he hurried across the pavement toward the wood line. At the last minute he turned and looked at my partner and I as if to say, "You haven't seen the last of me copper," when I made a threatening move toward him so as to let him know who was boss and he scurried off into the brush, coward that he was.

Thus ends the case of the "Masked Bandit." 

Or, so they thought.

The next night, my mother spotted another racoon on the deck! She ran to alert the sleeping chief, who was less than amused at the time. The next afternoon, he set up the trap again.

The next morning, the food was gone, but the trap was empty!
 Apparently, this racoon was really smart. And big enough to reach thru the trap. So my parents devised a little plan where they placed a garbage bag around the food so that it was not easily reached.  The next morning, they found the trap, again empty, save the shredded garbage bag!

So the Chief, not to be outdone, set the trap on the most sensitive setting. The wind would have set it off (and they worried that might happen).
This morning, I recieve this:
BREAKING NEWS......................

From the Total Action News Watch Plus news desk comes breaking news. Irondale authorities are reporting the capture of the second member of the notorious gang of marauding creatures know as "Rockies Gang." Authorities report that at approximately 2 a.m. Friday morning, Rockette Racoon, known female associate of previously apprehended Rocky Racoon, was captured without incident at the same location where Rocky was captured last week. An unnamed source reported that Rockette Racoon was transported and successfully released in the vicinity where Rocky Racoon was banished last week. There are rumored to be pictures of Rockette taken just after her capture but this report has not been confirmed. Stay tuned for further news updates.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

What I Wore Wednesday

So it's time for What I Wore Wednesday.  Today's outfit is THE UNIFORM that I am always harping about. 

We don't have a uniform here at work, persay, but I seem to have a closet full of single color button downs and black pants.....five pairs of the same black pants to be exact.  Well, if I'm going to get technical, I have three, plain white button downs.

It is quick and easy to throw on, and with  my favorite silver accessories, I  always look pulled together, but rather dull. 

White Shirt = Walmart clearance!! Regularly $12.88 I picked this up at end of season for just $2
(so I bought ALL they had in my size!)

Black Pants = New York & Company, Regularly $46.95 sale $29.99....more than I ever pay for pants!

Silver multichain necklace with tulle flower = New York & Company, another splurge at $19.99 (but Buy One Get One Free on jewelry that day, so it was worth it)

Black Cage Booties = Cato, $19.99....and worth every penny

That is why I'm trying to step it up a little and try out new things.

Oh, and my hair.

I let my hair grow out to the point that I can't stand it and want it cut. Then I get it cut and suddenly remember why I don't like it short.  I LIKE LOW MAINTENANCE HAIR!
After having to style it this morning, I was beginning to remember what I liked about the long hair.  While I did take the time to blow it dry properly, I didn't have enough time to flat-iron it, so it is left to "do what it do." My bangs started to bother me about 10:00am. Not having enough in the back for a pony tail, I resorted to wearing my problem bangs in a clippee. I look like a 12 year old.

It's a process....
Oh yeah.....I keep forgetting to link back to a whole bunch of other folks that WIWW too...


Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Got My Haircut On the Spur of the Moment my haircut on a whim. She cut about 6 inches off of it.

Monday, August 20, 2012

School Day, School Day, Good Ol' Golden Rule Day...

Today is my next-to-last First Day of School!

I'm elated, yet a little sad just the same.

I remember Julz first day of school. She was so excited and she loved learning. That was up until 4th or 5th grade when one of her teachers called her "lazy." Then she never loved learning like she did in those early years. And that teacher never taught again at MMS. Today, she is in her second semester at nursing school.  Not far off the dream of being a doctor that she had once held so dear. She was like a little sponge, though learning at her own pace. I think back to the time when  her educational boat was blown off course for a short period of time and I want to punch that teacher in the mouth.

I remember Tigger's first day of school the year that him and Kit-Kat came to live with us. He was very excited and loved to read. As a matter of fact, all he did was read and play with his Pokemon cards and doodle on ever scrap of paper he could find. He starts his Senior year today. Where did my little boy go?

Kit-Kat was still a little standoffish that year. She wasn't really sure what to make of the whole situation. I remember one of her first projects was to make a collage to help the teacher get to know her better. I remember it showed her dressed as Snow White, it showed her playing in the yard with her Barbies, she showed off all of her play shoes.  Those were the days.  I still have that poster, and look at it every now and again and wonder where the time went.

I spent the weekend trying to round up the summer reading books. Tigger read both of his in two days, "Dracula" and "War of the Worlds."  Kit-Kat had still not started hers, but I was fascinated by the subject matter. I should finish it tomorrow. =)

Today, I stood in the hall and sang out loud for one of the last two times I will do it:  "School Days, School Days, Good Ol' Golden Rule Days!"  That's all I've ever known of the song, but it was enough.

It was a tradition started by my mother. We would be eating breakfast and she would breeze through and sing this verse to us. She didn't know the rest of the song either. Even though we really didn't want to hear it, no First Day of School was ever complete without it. 

I carried on that tradition myself, though no one at my house wants to hear it either these days.

I wonder if they will miss it when they are grown?
I wonder if they will sing it themselves when their little ones start school?


Friday, August 17, 2012

Welcome New Reader!!

I finally figured out how to link my "What I Wore Wednesday" posts back to the others and it netted me a new reader!!

Welcome Daisy from PS Bananas!!



Thursday, August 16, 2012

Happy Birthday Julie Newmar!

Happy Birthday Wishes to the Original Catwoman!

You are the yardstick by which I measure all others, including myself....

Girl.....I hope it's PUUUUURRRRRFECT!

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

What I Wore Wednesday

Variation on "uniform" look....Brown and White

White Skirt (bought for last year's sales meeting...that's now a little too big!!) = New York & Co
Brown Tee = Walmart $3.88
Asst Bangles = Cato $5.99
Dangle Earrings & Long Bead Necklace = Premeir Jewelry Designs

I'd show off my "great deal" of the  whole outfit, my brown leather slide sandals that I found at a consignment shop for just $2, but the heel broke off!! Well, I guess I got my $2 out of them!


Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Monday, August 13, 2012

I Think I'm a Victim of Alien Abduction

I think that I am a victim of alien abduction.

The most common thread wound through all alien abduction stories is not being able to recall large blocks of time. "Missing Time" is what they call it.  Google that. It explains this phenomenon much better than I can.

In my case, I'm missing the time between Saturday, July 21st, when my husband's class reunion took place, until today, August 13th.  I understand that there are pictures of me, doing all sorts of wild, party-type things, but I do not remember them. There are, of course the photos from the reunion. Then there are photos from the Motley Crue/ KISS concert that I vaguely rememeber. That is followed by a father/son swimming party at D/H's best friend The Doctor's house and lastly a party and a trip this weekend.  I can say with great confidence that I am not drinking, because I do not like how a hangover feels. But you would never guess that from the pictures.

I'm fairly certain, because I DO have chronic obstructive sleep apnea, that I have memory loss due to sleep deprivation.

That would also explain the slightly stoned look on my face in some of these pictures (sleepy does not photograph well)

I have threatened Darling Hubby's life, for I MUST get some rest this weekend.

Don't care what is going on....

Not even a party in my honor.

Well, maybe


Thursday, August 2, 2012

Well Now....This is a Horse of a Different Color

Still dealing with my moderate depression. A few light points in my week were the Motley Crue/ KISS concert on Tuesday. Of course, taking care of a group of grown men like they are kindergarteners was not very fun for me, but I still had a pretty good time.  The day off yesterday was pretty good too. But it made today like a Monday, and that wasn't cool.

When I got to work, someone had asked me if I had printed an article they found on the printer. It was about work-place bullying. I did not, but now wish that I had.

The attempt to intimidate a co-worker is the definition of work-place bullying!

What I am currently experiencing IS WORK-PLACE BULLYING!!

Now THAT is a horse of a different color.