Friday, February 28, 2014



Do you get sweet little text messages during the day from your man? Sweet electronic love notes on your phone telling you how beautiful you are, or how much he loves you? It may not be him.

Sorry to disappoint you....It might ACTUALLY  be The BroApp

High Tech Dishonesty at it's best.

I will let you read about it for yourself.
I nearly overslept this morning!

What am I going to do when the blasted time "Springs Forward" next weekend?!

I was looking over some of my blog stats. I've had some really impressive numbers lately and wanted to thank all my new readers for stopping by. I can see the cities you are reading from and I'm impressed that you found my little blog.

Thank you for reading and stay tuned!


Thursday, February 27, 2014

Journey Of Self Improvement 2014

It is obvious that 2014 will be the year of self-improvements.

Step One: Remove negative issues from my life. 
I have dealt with one of the biggest negatives in my life. My hoarding cumplusion. The clutter was choking the life out of me. My first two weeks I worked at really evaluating "the stuff" I had acumulated and deciding what was really important. I also let go of clothes I had been hanging on to. If I am committed to staying this size, it was time to let my size 20's/ 16's/ 14's all go. Hell, I may chuck the 12's this week just to make room for my new stuff.  Out with the old, in with the new.

I have a more positive frame of mind now. I had always looked for the positive, but let others bring me down. I was sinking in a dark hole. But I see the light again. It is allowing me to move forward and make the positive changes that I need.

But until a judge signs my divorce, I can't truly be done with this step. 

I have learned that D/H may have actually left me, after 17 years. because his mistress of just 5 months is  pregnant.  Caught in the classic white-trash-marriage trap! What a situation to be in. And that would make perfect sense. He may be irresponsible as crap, but he was loyal to his offspring. No one will confirm this, for fear of further breaking my heart. God love my friends. When I had to have my hysterectomy, it nearly killed me. D/H did not understand. All he thought about was finally having access to guilt-free, responsibility-free sex. Guess that's over now. What an ugly baby that's gonna be. I have a friend, another blogger named Gibby, who found out that her  husband was not only having an affair, but the mistress was pregnant. She sent them a baby gift.  I'm not sure I could do that.

 Sorry, following that negative rabbit trail again.

Moving on...

Step Two: Take Control of my health
I've been trying to do this one for a while now.  Getting old really sucks but I know many people far older than me who are in better shape now than when they were in their twenties.  Now that my goal weight is well within sight (dare I set a new goal for 10 more pounds?!) I thought I'd better start firming up what is left. 

 I thought a good place to start would be my backside, that is steadily sliding down the backs of my thighs. I already suffer from Noassatall, so I need to do what I can to stop it's descent. I can hear it now "Grandma, what is that on the back of your knees?!"  "Oh nothing dear, that's just my ass"

I forgot to pack my workout clothes. After a quick dash home to change,  I was 15 minutes later than expected and found my trainer standing in the door. He had thought I chickened out.  I was really looking forward to this, but didn't really know what to expect.  Back when D/H was working out, he would suggest exercises then leave me alone to actually do them.  Having someone standing over me, counting, encouraging me, spotting me, was all something new.

I first did a circuit of machines to help strengthen my legs: leg extensions, curls, and the leg press machine. I was familiar with all ot them. The tops of my thighs burned after just a few reps.  I thought the leg press machine was loaded too heavy, but my trainer was confident I could do it, and I did. But each time I got up, my legs felt like limp spaghetti. 

We finished up with squats, with 20lbs on the bar.  These were far harder than anything else I had done. I was all swimmy-headed after each set.  We were going to finish with lunges, but I think that I may have scared him a little because he told me to go home, stretch and rest.  I could barely get out of the car when I got there, but I slept like a baby.

Today, I am sore.  But I am not sore in the places one would think I would be sore.

The back of my neck hurts from the blasted bar! Like the hurts-my-neck-for-my-collar-to-rest-on-it kind of hurt. I had a coworker check for bruising and swelling. I had made my trainer put the pad on it before I started. I can only imagine how bad I would have felt otherwise. So I'm holding my head funny and walking around gingerly, so as not to jar it. I've even had to take the necklace I wore off. The weight of it on the spot is unbearable.  Curse you Mr. Trainer Man!

My lower extremities feel fine. Hardly sore at all, except when I start to sit down. Then my thighs remind me of what I had done.

I will have to report back as things progress.

In the meantime, I will be icing my neck


Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Weekly What I Wore

In this week's Weekly What I Wore, I am still struggling to find pants that both fit my new shrinking waistline, and are long enough to fit my 5 foot 7 inch frame. I can find one but not the other. I'm also having trouble finding pants that aren't flared at the hip to accomodate a more ample backside.  The little flared bits of fabric flap out. It looks like I'm wearing jodpurs.

So I am still pinning my pants with the big safety pin, to keep them on my waist, and will head off after work to try yet another store.

I paired them today with a favorite shirt from, of all places, Tractor Supply!  I was surprised that among the animal feed and farm equipment, they carried some pretty cool clothes! The brand is called Bit and Bridle. The motif falls right in line with many of my "designer" tee shirts, at a third of the cost. Score!  The tee itself is a substantial weight. I'm sure it will face many washings and come out the other side unscathed. Wish I could say that about some of my other expensive designer tees.

I'm amazed at the difference I've seen in just four months.
Here I am in a similar outfit in November, as compared to today's photo. I can really tell a difference in my tummy area.  Yes, I realize that I'm wearing a crop sweater in the right photo, my hair was shorter,  but you can't deny that my face, neck and tummy all look thinner.

Super excited!

Well, thanks for reading, and a big "Hey Y'all" to all my new readers, where ever you are from.

OH and I always forget to do this! Post the link back to The Pleated Poppy, who hosts this weekly blog roll.


Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Life Without TV

For two months now, I have been living without t.v.

 D/H disconnected the satelite package when he left and I just haven't had the time to have it reestablished.  Given their track record, I'm not certain that I am ready to deal with that headache just yet.

I really don't miss it much and I've realized that I don't truly watch it. It was background noise for the most part. I do kinda miss it on Sundays, when D/H and I would curl up on the couch and watch movies. That was part of our time together, just being close and watching movies.  Now, if I chose to watch a movie, I can pop in something from my ever growing DVD collection.

 I've realized that several movies I bought for myself have convienently disappeared, such as "Mr and Mrs Smith." I loved that movie, but not as much as he loved Angelinia Jolie, I guess.  (Given the manly apperance of the mistress, I know who he's really thinking about when he closes his eyes during their "alone time" to keep things going..LOL) So I've had to replace some of the collection. It made me a little mad, but given how he wastes money, I guess I shouldn't begrudge them a few dvd's.

I'm not up on the lastest news, but it was depressing anyway.  Ignorance really is bliss! I can get what I need from the internet every day.

Speaking of movies and news, I was a little sad to learn that Harold Ramis died yesterday.

He was the brains, and directorial talent behind many of the great comedies I grew up with such as "Animal House," "Stripes," "Caddyshack," and played "Egon Spengler" in the "Ghostbusters" franchise.

I have particularly fond memories of "Stripes," especially  of playing the "force field game" with my freshman crush. The neighborhood I grew up in bordered the local country club golf course. All my great childhood memories took place out on the golf course: from camo-covered bottle-rocket battles with all the neighborhood kids, to skateboarding the cart paths. We were  out in the fifteenth hole water shed. Those who have seen the movie will know that "the force field game" is a game where two people get as close as possible without touching. The catch is the first to break the force field is actually the winner. I remember the thrill I got when he broke the force field to kiss me. At about the same time, we were discovered by the younger neighborhood kids and had to go home.  Bummer.  But whenenver someone talks about the movie, I instantly think of that kiss.

I am able to watch my favorite shows, such as "How I Met Your Mother, " "Two Broke Girls,"  "Mike and Molly," "The Big Bang Theory," and "Criminal Minds," all on line for free.  These had been favorites for D/H also. He would DVR them and we would watch them together every week, right up until he left.

I DO NOT miss having to schedule watching them around wrestling, which comes one somewhere  every night of the week. White trash entertainment at it's best. That was one of the things that D/H complained about: I didn't like wrestling.  When he said that we had nothing in common, THAT was what he actually meant.

Now I am free to pursue more intellegent entertainment, such as reading. I listen to music and curl up with the cats and my Kindle. 

Silence truly is golden


Monday, February 24, 2014

Pity Party: Table For One

I had a great time over the weekend.

We celebrated the birthday of a friend at our local wattering hole.  I allowed myself a drink, or three.
Something fruity, and it sounded a little bit naughty: Sex on the Beach.  Not what I was expecting.
I thought it would be more like a pina colada: coconuty like suntan lotion.

Usually, I prefer Tequila Sunrises. I had ordered my first one back in college, based soley on the Eagles song and it has been a favorite drink ever since.

My Bloody Mary obsession is a hold over from college as well. I haven't had a decent Bloody Mary since the last ATO party I had attended. Tippin' my hat to a bartender named John, but the guys had called Scooter, who made the best Bloody Mary I'd ever had. I have never had another as good. Ironically, I ran into John again, when I was married to The #1 Ex. He had worked for the same company I did and was assigned to the same store set.  I wished I had gotten that Bloody Mary recipe.

But I digress.

What is it about being slighty tipsy with a group of your friends that makes everyone start to run off at the mouth?  Everyone started to talk about D/H and some of his antics over the years and why I had never caught on.

I found out that he had made a pass at one of them, in her home, while her husband (one of his oldest friends) was out of town on business. I found out that he slept with one my friends, at the home where she was sitting with her dying uncle. That there was photographic evidence on his phone of nearly every tryst. I found out that he had hit on nearly ALL of my friends. I found out that he was persuing anything with a pulse, throwing out passes to see who would return them. How funny that people are so willing to share now, after keeping his secrets for so long.

The subject of a football party in September was brought up. I had not felt well and had asked for somewhere to lay down. Because I couldn't watch the game because of "the jinx" anyway, it wouldn't have mattered if I had cat-napped or not.  The Host offered me his bed and closed the door behind him. I had laid there about 10 minutes when D/H had come in. He climbed into bed with me and began trying to undress me. I couldn't believe he would be so brazen! I was mortified! How DISRESPECTFUL! We were in someone else's house! In someone else's BED! How could he have thought so little of his friend by doing such a thing! I pushed him away and told him that this was just something one didn't do: don't disrespect one's friends that way.  He left in a huff, slamming the door behind him. What I didn't know, was that after he slammed the door, he addressed the living room of shocked friends with "Now you see why I cheat on her."

It's little things like this that make me glad that he is gone.  But my heart still hurts. I think it will hurt for a very long time. How do you turn off loving someone after seventeen years?  Seventeen Years.  Not seventeen days, not seventeen months, ...SEVENTEEN YEARS.

This coming Thursday, the 27th, will mark just two months since he suddenly walked out of my life, with no warning that there was any problem. How easily he had walked away from the life we had cultivated together.I am still asking myself why. I still don't understand how he could walk away so easily. like I didn't exist. I understand that he had "moved on", before he moved out, but I had not. I was very much in love with him. I guess that I still am. That is why this hurts so much.

How exactly does one "move on" from a SEVENTEEN YEAR relationship after screwing someone for only four (4, quatro, vier, fire, quatre, shi)  months? Does that even seem possible?

It's easy: COMMITMENT meant NOTHING to him. Commitment to me, commitment to The First Ex-Wife, even committment to High School Girlfriend. He was never truly committed in ANY of his relationships.

I've had someone say to me "Wow,  you aren't over that yet."  How exactly am I supposed to "get over it" already?  What kind of relationships do people have these days?  It was not a disposable relationship. It was not a fling. It was about more than just sex, like his current relationship is.  It was a commitment to one another. It was a marriage.

Everyone acts like I could just turn it off like a switch.  How exactly does one " get over" the person they loved for seventeen years? It doesn't happen overnight. Little things continue to remind you of things that you shared over SEVENTEEN YEARS: Songs on the radio, the dvd of your favorite movie, the recording of our wedding, different sights, and smells.

What kind of person would I be if I could forget D/H so easily?

Well,  I guess I could be D/H.

I think about the mistress. I wonder if she thinks about the part that she played in the destruction of our RELATIONSHIP of SEVENTEEN YEARS. Did she not consider her own actions, as well as his,  caused a problem with our relationship?

The relationship that I had with my husband, where I was blissfully unaware of her, or that he was even unhapp,y because he was still telling me that he loved me, trying to make love to me, or even just kissing me, all while lying to my face everyday.  How does one just cut off SEVENTEEN YEARS?  I wonder what she tells herself so that she can lay down, and sleep next to him each night.

It can't be the line that we were "the love of his life." He's sold that line to all of us. I found that he called also all of us "his beauty/ his queen/ his trophy."  That we all, in one way or another, had made him "the happiest man alive." I happen to hold the record.  I had done it the longest.

What kind of woman pursues another woman's husband? Apparently, a dilusional one with little or no self-esteem. She thinks so little of herself that she will "make do" with whatever comes along. That she would willingly pursue a relationship with a man, so willing to lie and cheat on the woman to whom he promised, before the Lord of Hosts, to love, honor, and cherish.  She is dilusional if she thinks that she can "change" him. She is dilusional if she thinks he won't do it to her too.

It is HIS pattern. It's just a matter of time.

It only took him SEVENTEEN YEARS to do it to me.

Pity Party: Table for One

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Just Deserts

I've always loved the phrase "just deserts." 

It implies a sweet reward. Like crème brul'ee at the end of your meal.
But actually, the reward can be just as bitter as it can be sweet.

For too long, I have been focused on the bitter, negative turn my life had taken. I was spinning my wheels, trying to make things work. Single handedly. Marriage is work. But it takes both people working at it.  I had accepted that we would never be millionaires or even get ahead, but as long as I was committed to the one I loved, that is all that mattered.

We accept the love we think we deserve.


I deserve BETTER.


Saturday, February 22, 2014

I'm Shrinking!

That's right ladies and gentlemen,

This week I present the very first pair of size six jeans that I have ever owned.


I don't think that I ever wore a size five or six, not even when I was in high school. 

I was always skinny mind you. I weighed 110 from the first day I set foot in dear old LHS, until the I marched out and threw my graduation cap in the air. At 5 foot 7 inches tall, I was a bean pole. My legs were so skinny, I could stand with my ankles together and that would be the only point that they would touch.

Here, I am at sixteen, when I was in the very best shape of my life. My baton training schedule had me exercising, on average, 4 hours each day.  Even then, I was in a size seven jeans,

I know that "vanity sizing" plays a big part in this difference,  Just as I know the jeans I wore the night I met Darling Hubby were a size ten, seventeen years ago, they very well could be the sixes I'm wearing today.

I've always said that size was just a number, and it didn't matter the number as long as you felt good about yourself.  I wore a size 20 not that many years ago. But I didn't feel good about myself, because this /\/\/\ was the girl everyone saw me as. Eighteen in my head, not on my hips.

I have always been a stress-eater. Now that I've removed the stress of an unfulfilling, financially taxing marriage to a lying, manipulative, cheating scum-sucker, the weight just fell off.
Oh, sorry. Momentary lapse. I am not bringing that up, ever again, except to maybe tell the ol' mistress there THANK YOU for making him her financial and emotional burden now.

~En-JOY-ing my new smaller jeans, what ever size they might really be.

Friday, February 21, 2014

Now Taking Applications.....

Now taking applications for Thunder Buddy.

Must like to snuggle up on the couch during loud storms, regardless of what might be on tv, or cuddle without trying to grope, cop a feel, or expecting it to lead to something else.  Reassuring demeanor, loyal, attractive, neat, fun personality, must smell nice, be able to hold an intellegent conversation, with good sense of humor (i.e. you don't think you are funny, OTHER people think you are funny). Full head of hair a plus. Protective individual, not afraid of storms themselves is  prefered.  Cocky bastards need not apply.

Oh, and Teeth Brushing IS required.

The recent warm weather, following two weeks of ice and snow, have caused the inevitable Winter Thunderstorms.  Life in Alabama, right?

Last night was the first potentially destructive storm. The house creaked and popped as the wind blew, and I could hear the three, now damaged oak trees out back as they whipped back and forth. The cats each huddled up with me on the couch; JB, my "fraidy cat" practically underneath me, ducking down into the space between me and the cushion,while Zipper stood guard over my head.

I did not sleep very well, so I am dragging today. 

I have always been afraid of storms. The power and the destruction.

I remember as a child, loading up in the car to go see what a tornado had done to a place. I vividly remember going through Pell City, Alabama (because tornados seemed to hit Pell City everytime) and seeing a dentist's chair, a lone obelisk. perched on the destroyed second floor of a building there. I don't know why that was such a side show draw, but it apparently still goes on today.

I don't recall ever having been actually alone during a storm. Even between marriages, I at least had Julz, who would run to my bed to be comforted when storms blew up in the middle of the night.  I always had someone beside me. I could always snuggle up and be reassured that everything would be alright.

Last night, as my heart raced,  I prayed incessantly for the Lord to ease my fears, so that I could sleep. I nodded off just in time to wake up for work.

Reader, you would be proud of me.  I can cross another "first" off my list.

First thunderstorm alone.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Something Pink

Welcome to all my new readers...especially those abroad!

Now, for something Pink


Wednesday, February 19, 2014

A Loss For Words

Yesterday I had 162 total blog hits.

That has got to be a record!  Well, for me, it is.  In the seven years (7 years ?!?!) I've been blogging here, the most I've had in a single day was ten.

But now, that people are actually reading, I am suddenly at a loss for words.

Anyone who knows me personally, knows that is a big deal.

I could write volumes about my husband and his mistress, but have decided that they have recieved enough of my time. They are both worthless individuals and deserve all the misery they will soon be to one another. Hate I'm gonna miss that fall out. If only to be a fly on the wall...

I could write about my family, but the kids also read here and call and complain that I share too much about them.  That is funny given they are the "Facebook Generation."

I can go on about me for a little bit, but there is not much new to tell.

I can say that I've always wanted to be a writer, for as far back as I could remember. I would play "news reporter" and comandier my mothers blue, portable typewriter to type up my "news" stories. I've always been more comfortable expressing myself with written word than any other way.

Throughout school I enjoyed my English and writing assignments and recieved high marks for both.

That carried over into college, where I had entered as a journalism major. I finished my sophomore year when I met my first husband (I still can't believe I have to quantify them...first husband, second husband...).  One of my biggest regrets is that I let him talk me out of finishing college.

I now write for my company newsletter. And this blog. That's as close to "reporting the news" as I will ever get. The Local Big City News no longer publishes an actual paper. They post a blog too. So it's kinda the same thing.

So for this post, and to help acquaint others to my writing, I thought I'd post some favorite post throughout the last seven years.


Have you Forgotten?

Hand Washing: A really BIG pet peeve of mine.

Remember "Smiling Bob" the most annoying ED commercial of all time

I make mention of my "Bucket List" several times. Here is the actual first post about it

I hate snakes....really I do...

Some people just need to get over themselves

Well it ain't beef bourguignon...

You do know that I am a Customer Service professional, right?

Naughty or Nice?

Surviving a natural disaster

Dear me...

Fashion Advice for the Less Fortunate

Master Reset: The first time around

Then there are the Divorce Posts

Divorce 1     Divorce 2   Divorce 3   Divorce 4   Divorce 5

The Most Popular Divorce Post (included Signs You Are Being Abused)

And finally seeing that Things are looking UP!

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Now a Brief Musical Interlude

A lady at work sent me this.

And though I have moved on, truer words were never spoken.

 I really thought it was appropriate ...don't you ?

Cheater Cheater by Joey and Rory

Happy 23rd Anniversary to me! I have been at my job now 23 years today.  Seems like a lifetime and sometimes it's like WOW..has it been 23 years? I was only 23 when I came to work here. Weird: Where does the time go

Oh, and a shout out to all my new readers, especially to those abroad.  Yesterday I had 130 total blog hits!  That is a record for me.

I guess I can mark "write something that will be read widespread" off my bucket list.

Be sure to hit the "comments" page and let me know how you found me. I'd love to know!


Saturday, February 15, 2014

Ladies and Gentlemen, Announcing...


I can't believe it. For the first time in 18 years, I am in a size eight again.
I'm excited to say, they are a little loose, but I didn't dare try a size 6.

~En-JOY ing my new body!

Friday, February 14, 2014

Mysteries and Wonders

What the hell...?

Well, thank you, Whomever.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Coming Down

This is what 143 looks like.

Let me say that again


I have so gotta get some new jeans.

I think I will try an 8....yes, I actually said EIGHT ...this time.


Today I am on the other side of "Snowmagedon: Part Duece"

I faired much better this time. My office let us out with plenty of time to get home ahead of the storm. I was snuggled up, all warm and toasty, with the cats by the time the snow started falling.

Here was my view this morning, before leaving for work.

Today's tempatures will be 48 degrees, so everthing should melt before the day is out.  The big shocker is that the tempatures will soar this weekend to a near-tropical 60 degrees tomorrow and as high as 66 this weekend!

Winter in Alabama. Gotta love it!


Tuesday, February 11, 2014

At Last: Positive Changes

Since I am determined to put more positive energy and thoughts into my life, I have been seeing more and more positive changes! I could see where negative engery was crippling me and now that I have removed it, things are getting better fast!

First, now that Darling Hubby has paid the attorney, things will be over relatively soon.  This was the biggest negative thing in my life. Regardless of how positive I would be, he'd always find a way to bring us down. He could find the negative side to every situation. I understand that he is under the impression that I want him back, and just because I am still wearing my ring, that is supposedly a sign of that. I have always said I will stay true to the vow I made to him before God, even if he did not.  That is the kind of person that I am. That vow meant something to me and to honor it, until a judge tells me that I no longer have to, is a small sacrifice. Then I will put my ring away.

I went to church for the first time in years this past Sunday. I went to my aunt's church, because I had heard good things about it. I didn't catch up to her, but enjoyed my time, sitting myself. I could focus on the experience.  The worship music, all mentioned "joy." The message about not worrying seemed tailor-made just for me. I came away refreshed and renewed.

I've lost nearly 20 lbs since December 27th. I am now just three pounds from my 140 goal weight. My cardiologist is going to flip! Unfortunatley, I still can't get off the blood pressure meds because something small with happen and send it soaring (like the nasty message D/H sent yesterday) but hopefully, it won't be long. I am eating healthier than ever before and I don't have to worry about my healthy snacks getting eaten up while I am at work.

It has made me stand straighter, walk taller, and find my "sexy" again. I had gone through a program about "finding your sexy" several months before D/H and I got together. It had boosted my confidence and self-esteem with positive affirmations and changing my thought processes to more positive ones. I need to find that program and go through it again and remind myself of who I am. It had been the best part of my life. I know that D/H had seen that all those years ago, and that was what drew him to me.

I'm not sure I really want to date right now, because it is still fresh and tender, but I have had some men show some interest in me again. Nothing serious, just offers to meet for coffee, dinner, or drinks. D/H had "moved on" long before he ever moved out. For me, he ripped my heart out on December 27th, so I'm still healing. But I have had some really nice conversations with some men that I have known for a while and that gives me some hope that someone will care about me again.

I am having fun again. I used to have "fun" until D/H would get so drunk that he'd start making obnoxious comments and being hard to contain. Then I'd go into "momma mode" and have to treat him like a child.  Now, I can laugh and cut up and dance and have a good time and not worry about what anyone else is doing. I had forgotten how funny drunk people can be, when they are not your husband!

I'm becoming comfortable with being by myself. I used to not be able to sleep when D/H and the kids were not home. I guess that happens when you depend on someone. But it is becoming easier and easier to be alone, to do things without asking or check in with someone.

I don't have to have any background noise any more. I used to sleep with the tv on, just to have some noise. I admit, the first few weeks, when I got still and laid my head down, there was a cacophony of sound that would ring in my ears, making it impossible to sleep. Voices and noise, like a recording of the conversations of the day, replayed all at once. Like the scene in "What Woman Want" when Mel Gibson is first hearing the women's voices all around him. They are finally quiet, and I fall off to sleep quite easily.

I am very relieved that I am not running into D/H and his mistress when I am in Walmart, or the Chinese restaurant, or my favorite Mexican restaurant.  Thankfully, he has no reason to come back to our hometown, not that anyone here wants to see him anyway. He's cut all ties with his friends. Back when we would run into his ex, he would try to keep the pot stirred by making up things to tell me about her. This was to make me mad and keep an annimosity between us. I bet he's doing that with his mistress now. 

I already know that she is very jealous of looks/ my weight/ my job/ my money beause of things he has told our friends. But given his flair for the dramatic and ability to lie his way around it all, I'm not sure how much of that I'd believe.  He had once told me that The First Ex Wife had said something along the lines of  "I told you that you couldn't do better than me" to him about me one of the very first times she saw me. I had the opportunity to ask about that too, and of course,  she never said anything of the sort.   I think that he did it so that he'd have the "two women fighting over him" scenario. I once had a guy tell me that nothing turned a guy on more than two women in a cat fight over him.  When we were first dating and he was going to the gym, I could see that. Not now that he is overweight and paunchy, not so much. I hear from the nudie pic (I know, classy, right?) on his phone of her that he's been trying to show everyone, that she is too. I'm told that she has quite the belly-apron hanging over her va-jayjay too. Sounds like they are made for one another.

For some reason, the procuedure I had on my chin keeps getting brought up. I'm not going to lie. People have told me that it took ten years off my looks. I don't regret it one bit. NOT ONE. Knowing now that he would have used that money, and still left me anyway, makes me glad I spent it on myself. I don't feel the least bit selfish.

As Valentine's Day looms at the end of this week, I am a little meloncholy. Each year D/H would use part of his tax return to buy me flowers, candy and a bear. It may have just been a sham, something to keep me hooked, but always made me feel special to have that delivery come to the office.  I am going to miss that gift come Friday.

But anything that I get from here on out will be sincere. Not just something to placate me, and keep me hanging on until he had used me up, 'til there was no more life left in me.

Looking forward to my new, positive, life ahead


Thursday, February 6, 2014

One is the Loneliest Number....

... or Is It?

"One is the Loneliest Number" was a big hit for the popular 70's group Three Dog Night. They are my Daddy's favorite group, therefore the soundtrack of my life includes many Three Dog Night songs.  Another favorite is of course, "Joy To The World."

One line in the song is

 It's just no good anymore since you went away
 Now I spend my time, just making rhymes of yesterday

Is that what I'm doing with this blog? Trying to make rhyme or reason out of what has happened?

My evenings here of late have been pretty much spent in solitude.  My days, frenetic with the hustle and bustle of my busy job, but afterward, it's pretty just much me and the cats.

It's weird coming home to a house that I don't have to pick up, or to discover that my brand new eye pencil is missing from my make-up drawer, or that the ingredients for dinner have suddenly gone missing.

Though the cats keep doing strange things that make me wonder if they don't stand up on their hind legs and walk around like humans when I leave.

JB has learned to open the doors. The door to Kit-Kat's room hasn't closed properly in years. I have to really pull it shut tight to insure that he doesn't throw his weight into it and get it opened. But I have come home on more than one occasion to find the door to my bedroom open, Tigger's room open and the linen closet open, and that door opens out.  It's freaking me out a little.

I immediately search for signs of intruders. I know that this is highly unlikely, (I don't have anything worth stealing) but better safe than sorry, right?  The Cheif has had a little talk with his buddies down at my local PD and they are making frequent trips through my neighborhood.  The bars in the window hold tight, and the house is always secure.  I close the doors again. It's not too long before JB gives himself away by trying out his new trick again.

Zipper likes to drink from the dripping tub faucet rather than the water bowl in the kitchen. I've taken to leaving the bathroom door open and I find him curled up in the laundry basket napping every afternoon. Leaving the bathroom door open has improved the heating situation in the great room as well. Who Knew?! Well, I did, but D/H wouldn't listen. My first husband was a heating and air guy. Amazing the things a smart girl can pick up just by listening.

I never realized how much the rest of the family seemed to stress the cats out. Zipper yacked up nearly every meal he ate. JB is a "stress" eater.  Now JB is losing weight and Zipper is gaining. The yacking has stopped. They both relax with me on the couch each evening and watch movies with me.

I still don't have sattelite, but haven't really missed it. I watch "my shows" on my Kindle (sans commercials = score!) and seems to be managing just fine.  I am coming to the end of my movie collection. I started out watching two movies a night, just to keep noise in the house. But now I can sit in silence and read and seem to be okay. I keep picking up a few $5 movies from Wally-world's bargain movie bin, but will have to start stretching that out. Mother lent me the first season of  "Downton Abbey" to stretch that out a little.

But the point is, that I can watch what I want to watch on the "big" tv and stretch out on the couch and if I nod off, the cats won't be kicking me and telling me to go to bed.

I still can't quite bring myself to sleep in our bed. The memory is still too fresh.  So for now, I'm sofa surfin', which isn't too bad. I slept on the sofa after my first divorce. I'm told that a lot of people do that.

I have a pretty "pathetic" life right now:
My house has stayed clean with hardly any effort.
When I lay something down, it stays where I put it.
I cook (or don't cook) whatever I want.
I only have to run the dishwasher once a week.
It takes less than two hours to do all my laundry once a week.
There are no arguments.
No one is constantly pestering me for money, despite just getting paid themselves.
All the bills are current. They are also about half what I thought they would be.
I have enough money left over from each check to go out with my friends every weekend.
I am much less stressed and I've lost over 15 pounds as a result.
I'm having more fun now that I am not constantly having to babysit a drunk.
The Lord has blessed me, and for this I am grateful.

One is the loneliest number?
Not right now

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Weekly What I Wore: Oversized Edition

So I call today's edition of Weekly What I Wore the "Oversized Edition" because right now everything I own is too big for me.  I've lost 15 pounds this month and have been more than successful at keeping it off.  Unfortunately I dont have the money right now to completely overhaul my wardrobe in one fell swoop, so I'm making do with what I have.
Impending Divorce will do that to you.
I've been eating healthier this month than I have been able to in a very long time. And it hasn't been very expensive to do so. I buy for the week only and then I make sure I eat it within that week. No more coming home to cook something only to find that my ingredients had been eaten by others in the house.
My black pants are cinched at the waist with big safety pin, The black sweater and lace overlay shirt still fits enough to wear and not look as strange as my pants do.  Of course my jewelry still fits..LOL!
I can still wear the same earrings I wore in high school!

Monday, February 3, 2014

A Public Service Announcement

click photo to enlarge

I am posting this to clear up any misconception that I am the one holding up my impending divorce.