My cousin posted this article on her FB page. As I read through these "19 signs you are dating a loser" I couldn't help but think how this actually, accurately described D/H.
In close succession, another one of my friends posted this article about what a man does to drive a woman away. D/H did all of this too.
I was amazed that I had not noticed it before. Hindsight.
Our relationship had been so one sided. He never made any effort to improve his situation. I had over looked his faults and shortcomings simply because I loved him. That is what you do for love. It is only now clear that he was using me for what I had to offer. I had been a strong, independent woman. He had done just enough, for just long enough to reel me in. made me believe I could rely on him.
He was never happy with himself, he thought of only himself , he rarely showed" love" and affection outside of sex, and he expected everyone in his circle to be there to bail him out, without returning the favor. As evidenced by conversations with both his high school girlfriend and first wife, whose habits were long established by the time he came into my life. Now there are three women with the exact same story. (Makes you think huh?) Unless he makes a true effort to change, they will continue until his dying day. What a sad, shallow life.
Now you may think, after all that has happened, that I harbor ill will for D/H. Quite the opposite. I pity him.
I pray that he does make a true effort to change. I pray that he finally finds the happiness he seeks. I hope that he is able to truly give love to someone else in a way that he never could to me. After all, I was just his meal ticket. Most of all I hope that he finally is able to love himself. It's a sad life when one thinks they can find their happiness within someone else, rather than searching their own soul for it first.
Yesterday, I truly celebrated MY Independence Day. I am free of a life that I thought I had deserved, with all it's unnecessary drama, and struggle. But the stress and the struggle just walked out of my life and now I am healthier and happier for it.
As Christina says, "Thanks for making me a fighter."
"Fighter" ~ Christina Aguilera 2002
Stripped - RCA Records
I don't usually do this, but I had to post the words to this song. I guess I never really realized how much they apply to MY situation. She could have written this song about me.
After all you put me through
You'd think I'd despise you
But in the end I wanna thank you
'Cause you made that much stronger
Well I thought I knew you
Thinking that you were true
Guess I, I couldn't trust called your bluff
Time is up, 'cause I've had enough
You were there by my side
Always down for the ride
But your joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out in shame, mmm hmm
After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that
I hold resentment for you
But uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all
That you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
Never saw it coming
All of your backstabbing
Just so, you could cash in on a good thing
Before I'd realized your game
I heard you're going 'round
Playin' the victim now
But don't even begin feelin' I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave
After all of the fights and the lies
Guess you're wanting to hurt me
But that won't work anymore
No more, uh uh, it's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now
And never back down
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
How could this man I thought I know
Turn out to be unjust so cruel?
Could only see the good in you
Pretended not to see the truth
You tried to hide your lies
Disguise yourself through
Living in denial
But in the end you'll see
You won't stop me
I am a fighter
(I'm a fighter)
I ain't gonna stop
(I ain't gonna stop)
There is no turning back
I've had enough
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
Thought I would forget
But I, I remember
Yes I remember
I'll remember
Thought I would forget
But I remember
Yes I remember
I'll remember
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
You'd think I'd despise you
But in the end I wanna thank you
'Cause you made that much stronger
Well I thought I knew you
Thinking that you were true
Guess I, I couldn't trust called your bluff
Time is up, 'cause I've had enough
You were there by my side
Always down for the ride
But your joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out in shame, mmm hmm
After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that
I hold resentment for you
But uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all
That you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
Never saw it coming
All of your backstabbing
Just so, you could cash in on a good thing
Before I'd realized your game
I heard you're going 'round
Playin' the victim now
But don't even begin feelin' I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave
After all of the fights and the lies
Guess you're wanting to hurt me
But that won't work anymore
No more, uh uh, it's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now
And never back down
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
How could this man I thought I know
Turn out to be unjust so cruel?
Could only see the good in you
Pretended not to see the truth
You tried to hide your lies
Disguise yourself through
Living in denial
But in the end you'll see
You won't stop me
I am a fighter
(I'm a fighter)
I ain't gonna stop
(I ain't gonna stop)
There is no turning back
I've had enough
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
Thought I would forget
But I, I remember
Yes I remember
I'll remember
Thought I would forget
But I remember
Yes I remember
I'll remember
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
- Writer(s): Scott Storch, Scott Spencer Storch, Christina Aguilera
Copyright: Reservoir Media Music O.B.O. Tuff Jew Productions LLC, Universal Music - Careers, Scott Storch Music, Xtina Music, Reservoir Media Music
Lyrics powered by www.musiXmatch.com
Indeed!
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