Thursday, February 27, 2014

Journey Of Self Improvement 2014

It is obvious that 2014 will be the year of self-improvements.

Step One: Remove negative issues from my life. 
I have dealt with one of the biggest negatives in my life. My hoarding cumplusion. The clutter was choking the life out of me. My first two weeks I worked at really evaluating "the stuff" I had acumulated and deciding what was really important. I also let go of clothes I had been hanging on to. If I am committed to staying this size, it was time to let my size 20's/ 16's/ 14's all go. Hell, I may chuck the 12's this week just to make room for my new stuff.  Out with the old, in with the new.

I have a more positive frame of mind now. I had always looked for the positive, but let others bring me down. I was sinking in a dark hole. But I see the light again. It is allowing me to move forward and make the positive changes that I need.

But until a judge signs my divorce, I can't truly be done with this step. 

I have learned that D/H may have actually left me, after 17 years. because his mistress of just 5 months is  pregnant.  Caught in the classic white-trash-marriage trap! What a situation to be in. And that would make perfect sense. He may be irresponsible as crap, but he was loyal to his offspring. No one will confirm this, for fear of further breaking my heart. God love my friends. When I had to have my hysterectomy, it nearly killed me. D/H did not understand. All he thought about was finally having access to guilt-free, responsibility-free sex. Guess that's over now. What an ugly baby that's gonna be. I have a friend, another blogger named Gibby, who found out that her  husband was not only having an affair, but the mistress was pregnant. She sent them a baby gift.  I'm not sure I could do that.

 Sorry, following that negative rabbit trail again.

Moving on...

Step Two: Take Control of my health
I've been trying to do this one for a while now.  Getting old really sucks but I know many people far older than me who are in better shape now than when they were in their twenties.  Now that my goal weight is well within sight (dare I set a new goal for 10 more pounds?!) I thought I'd better start firming up what is left. 

 I thought a good place to start would be my backside, that is steadily sliding down the backs of my thighs. I already suffer from Noassatall, so I need to do what I can to stop it's descent. I can hear it now "Grandma, what is that on the back of your knees?!"  "Oh nothing dear, that's just my ass"

I forgot to pack my workout clothes. After a quick dash home to change,  I was 15 minutes later than expected and found my trainer standing in the door. He had thought I chickened out.  I was really looking forward to this, but didn't really know what to expect.  Back when D/H was working out, he would suggest exercises then leave me alone to actually do them.  Having someone standing over me, counting, encouraging me, spotting me, was all something new.

I first did a circuit of machines to help strengthen my legs: leg extensions, curls, and the leg press machine. I was familiar with all ot them. The tops of my thighs burned after just a few reps.  I thought the leg press machine was loaded too heavy, but my trainer was confident I could do it, and I did. But each time I got up, my legs felt like limp spaghetti. 

We finished up with squats, with 20lbs on the bar.  These were far harder than anything else I had done. I was all swimmy-headed after each set.  We were going to finish with lunges, but I think that I may have scared him a little because he told me to go home, stretch and rest.  I could barely get out of the car when I got there, but I slept like a baby.

Today, I am sore.  But I am not sore in the places one would think I would be sore.

The back of my neck hurts from the blasted bar! Like the hurts-my-neck-for-my-collar-to-rest-on-it kind of hurt. I had a coworker check for bruising and swelling. I had made my trainer put the pad on it before I started. I can only imagine how bad I would have felt otherwise. So I'm holding my head funny and walking around gingerly, so as not to jar it. I've even had to take the necklace I wore off. The weight of it on the spot is unbearable.  Curse you Mr. Trainer Man!

My lower extremities feel fine. Hardly sore at all, except when I start to sit down. Then my thighs remind me of what I had done.

I will have to report back as things progress.

In the meantime, I will be icing my neck


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